Forever Yours - Egoist
by Firediva0
Summary: Fearful that Nowaki won't want him anymore, Hiroki pushes him away. Submission for Shipping Week.


**Title: Forever Yours**

 **Pairing: Junjou Egoist**

 **Rating: T**

 **Submission 1 of Shipping Week**

* * *

 **~~ Forever Yours ~~**

* * *

 _Light blue water fills the lake, the sun glinting off of it beautifully. In the center, a lotus resides. Gently, it floats, it's petals drawn up. Slowly, almost hesitantly, it unravels; the mesmerizing pink petals finally blooming._

 _With the change, comes a beginning. Sometimes, those beginnings are too painful to bear._

* * *

"Have a nice day at work, Hiro-san," Nowaki says with a smile. Tenderly, he cups the other man's cheek, determined to press a kiss against Hiroki's lips, but the older man pulls away, a cold look in his eyes.

"Thanks," he grumbles, heading towards the door. He leaves without a second glance, the sound of the door closing echoing throughout their apartment.

Behind him, Nowaki stares ahead, his eyes wide with surprise.

 _Did Hiro-san just…?_

No answer comes.

* * *

"Do you want to come to the hospital with me?" Nowaki asks, grinning from ear to ear. "The kids have been asking about you, and -"

"No," Hiroki cuts him off, eating another spoonful of his cereal. Baffled, Nowaki's mouth opens in surprise.

"What, why?" he asks, confused. "I thought you liked the kids?"

"I do," Hiroki sighs, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "But, I'm busy. Those stupid idiots aren't gonna teach themselves."

"...Okay," Nowaki says after awhile, his tone slightly closed off. Dark blue eyes look into brown ones, attempting to figure out whether or not something was wrong. To Nowaki's surprise, emotionless brown eyes meet his gaze head on.

* * *

Pain…

It's a concept Hiroki is familiar with; one that is certainly no stranger. He knows that this won't last, knows that, one day, Nowaki will discover that he doesn't want to deal with his crap anymore.

Why wait? Why let himself grow more attached, more in love with someone who will eventually leave?

It doesn't make sense, and Hiroki won't allow himself to be so naive. Squaring his shoulders, he continues on his trek to the school, determination flaring within his brown eyes.

At the end of this, he would remain unbroken.

* * *

"Your lover is here," Miyagi says, smirking. He jerks his head towards the door, a small chuckle ripping itself out of his throat. Hiroki looks up from his papers and scowls, growling lightly to himself.

Why _now_?

"He can wait," he eventually settles on saying, shrugging his shoulders. At once, Miyagi walks towards him, his eyebrow raised in intrigue.

"Problems?" he asks softly. Hiroki nods, turning to look out the window. Understanding that the other man didn't want to talk about it, Miyagi wisely walks away…

Only to go to the door and scream, "LOVER BOY!"

Hiroki curses violently, turning betrayed eyes towards his co-worker. Miyagi merely smirks.

"Damn it!"

Immediately scrambling to gather his things, Hiroki can only slump slightly in defeat when he hears Nowaki barge into the room, the sound of the man screaming his name ringing throughout the lounge.

"Hiro-san!"

It's urgent and Hiroki can't help but roll his eyes.

"What do you need?" he asks, resigned. He sits back in his chair, one eyebrow raised in question. His eyes are cold, betraying none of his more troublesome emotions. Nowaki actually has the gall to look at him in shock, cringing outwardly at the obvious display of hatred.

"Ano, I wanted to bring you lunch," he says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Hiroki smiles thinly and gestures towards his desk.

"Thanks," he says softly. It's more sincere than he meant it to be - something that he loathes himself for. Nowaki smiles at him and places the bag down, lingering for a moment with a serious expression.

"Is there something else you need, Nowaki?" he asks, seemingly bored. Nowaki hesitates before nodding.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Nowaki questions. Hiroki's silent, his mind warring with his heart. On one hand, he's annoyed. Why couldn't Nowaki simply accept the fact that he just didn't want to see him? On the other hand, Hiroki can feel reluctant hope well up inside of his chest. Perhaps, Nowaki would stay with him forever, declaring those stupidly adorable declarations of love.

No, that wasn't a possibility. Shaking his head, Hiroki forced himself to scowl.

"Can we do this later?" he asks. "I have to grade these pa-"

A shove. The papers fall to the floor in a heap. Shocked, Hiroki can only stare ahead, gaping.

"No," Nowaki snarls. His blue eyes are alight with a fire - one that Hiroki's only seen on special occasions.

 _Anger…_

"We need to talk about this now."

"Talk about what?" Hiroki questions, playing stupid. "Talk about how you barged in here, demanding things of me when I was trying to work? Really, Nowaki? Is that seriously how you're going to a-"

"It's not about that and you know it! Ever since our anniversary, you've been distancing yourself from me! Don't you know I love you?"

"You're acting like a child!" Hiroki growls, shaking his head. "I can't focus on you for one moment without you getting like this!"

"Like, what?" Nowaki shoots back. "Becoming concerned? Acting like a _lover_ should?"

Perhaps, it's the wild and desperate look in Nowaki's eyes. Perhaps, it's the sadness and guilt that lingers within him. Perhaps, it's a lot of things that Hiroki can't even begin to name.

All he knows is that, in the next minute, he's pulling Nowaki forward, crashing their lips together.

"I _love_ you, you idiot," he whispers harshly. "That's not the problem, though, is it? One day, you're going to realize that you don't want an old geezer! You'll realize that you want and deserve better. I can't go through that, Nowaki. Don't make me go through that…"

Through all of this, Nowaki listens, his eyes wide in shock. How could Hiro-san possibly think that he would leave him?

"Sh," the younger man coos, rubbing Hiroki's back slowly. "You are what I deserve, Hiroki."

 _Hiroki._

Not Hiro-san, not Hiro-kun, but Hiroki. Never before has Nowaki ever called his lover that. It's something that the brunette is painfully aware of.

"Don't doubt my love for you," he continues. "You're everything that I could possibly want. I'd never love someone like I love you."

At once, Hiroki's strong defenses come crumbling down - his soul being forcibly stripped of its walls by comforting words and passionate declarations.

"Idiot," Hiroki mumbles, tearing up. Nowaki merely smiles at the insult, pulling the other man closer.

" _Your_ idiot," he shoots back. "Forever and always."

* * *

 _When beginnings are too painful to bear, you have to relinquish some of the burdens to someone else. Luckily for Hiroki, he has someone special on his side._

* * *

 **Written for:**

 **Shipping Week - Day 1 - Over at Caesar's Palace - Day 1's Prompt: Whisper. *Come check out the forum. It's fun!**

 **August Word Count - 1095**


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